In 2004 I entered my Wild Raspberry Jam
RECIPE FOR “BEST OF SHOW”
WILD RASPBERRY JAM
(In 15 Easy Steps)
c 2004-present — by LINDA BROWN
1) First, you must show the raspberries where you are.
In fairy tales, they will smile
and eagerly jump into your bucket.
By the way, you are in the woods somewhere.
2) Over your shoulder and on your knees:
a) Glance over your shoulder
frequently while picking.
b) Pray a mountain lion doesn’t pounce on you.
3) While on your knees,
lift branches and pick the big ones.
4) The big berries, not the big spiders.
5) And don’t pick the bees either.
Run from territorial bees.
Come back later.
Two weeks later,
or whenever the horsemint is gone.
6) While you are waiting, pick over yonder…
but listen for rattlesnakes.
7) Don’t let the stinging nettle get in your face.
Brush it away with a free hand.
On second thought, just step on it.
And on the thistles, too.
It’s ok. Your shoes are tough—
they’ve tripped you, haven’t they?
8) It’s also ok, while you’re confined to the bushes,
to let your mind wander
and think grandiose things.
…Just don’t hold your breath.
You need your breath for the next step.
9) Do deep knee bends for at least 1-3/4 hours
for each batch of jam.
10) While on your knees again, thank God there are no
berry-munching bears out there.
11) While on your feet, if something bites your ankle
and you jump, you did the right thing.
You took your big foot off those poor ants’ house.
12) Pick like there’s no tomorrow,
because it might hail and take the crop.
Or worse, someone else might get them!
13) Pick some more, like crazy,
because ‘crazy’ is feeling familiar now,
and it’s easy to do familiar things.
After three weeks of picking, though,
you might get delirious and have thoughts…
like, “What am I doing,
I can get bigger ones at the store, already frozen!”
Next, when another berry falls
and misses your bucket
cuz this is no fairy tale,
you will begin thinking of who you can call to
come and get some of these berries.
In fact, you’ll probably be thinking
out loud by then.
14) At that point, it is time to gel.
So, gel out and enjoy the pleasant breeze. Refocus
on the perfectly scented scenery.
Watch the deer, the turkeys, birds and squirrels.
15) If the squirrel scolds you,
for pete’s sake move your berry bowl
from under his tree.
And when the elk coughs…
That’s it…That’s the recipe for
“Best of Show” Wild Raspberry Jam.
The rest is history.
I’ve been making this jam since 1974.
For me, there is no place on earth closer to God
than in a wild raspberry patch,
for reasons noted above.
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits…Ps 103:2
- nightly vacation rental cabins in-home -
🌱
convenient lodging accommodations
- near mount rushmore -
- smiling bear antiques for staying guests -
smiling bear espressmo menu
- custer state park -
- black elk wilderness -
- black elk peak formerly harney peak -
- norbeck scenic byway -
- wind cave national park -
- black hills home cabins -
In the mountains we forget to count the days.
